I have learned that sometimes, people need a visual chart to help them see! I am going to be as elementary as I possibly can right now because it helps me to blow off some steam!
KG Pays child support on 2 daughters and is a single dad of one child.
KG Normally works 2 jobs and other side jobs to help cover the cost of child support.
KG Made a lot of money at one point, until he lost his good paying job.
Instead of running to the attorney general, to have child support decreased....KG took on a second job!
KG THOUGHT he was doing the noble thing!
For over 3 years now, KG's life looks like this chart
KG Works Full-Time Day Job 8:00 am to 5 or 5:30 PM Monday through Friday and some weekends.
KG then rushes home to only change clothes and go to second job.
KG's second job starts at 6:00 and he is normally late but he changes and gets there ASAP
KG then works until 12:30 AM or later
KG loves his community and tries to attend college to better himself, so he requested nights off that work with his schooling - Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.
On M,T, & Th, he attends class, Board meetings, volunteers, conference calls, bakes Cheesecakes for hisbusiness that he wants so bad to get up and running, and somehow eats with his live in daughter on Monday nights.
KG has grown very tired, but he does not want to take any money away from his other 2 children, so he continues to work tirelessly.
KG is laid off at full time job....There is a very short gap of child support, but it was only 3 weeks and monies were back on the way thanks to part-time job.
KG now has limited amount of income from part-time job.
KG's saved resources are being depleted
KG continues to apply and interview all over.
Needless to say....I get the short end of the stick when it comes to my daughters! I can not visit them like i want to because i work 7 days a week....70+ hours a week, but it is all done to better myself to better take care of them. And so that they do NOT go lacking, I refuse to reduce my child support, but every time I look up, I am in court, being threatened by a judge to be thrown in jail! The last time I went...I was a little over $1000 in the hole...that has grown due to massive amounts of interest etc... to a whopping $8000.00 bux! How I do not know because I have now been paying an extra $200 a month plus court costs! Sad thing is I KNOW men that dodge child support but I get taken through this not only by the courts, but by my exes. Then my children get this speech about how "Your dad won't take the time to come visit you"!
Just had to let this out before I imploded!
Thank you for listening if you did!
The solution to this all is understanding and working together for the good of the children, but when you are greedy, jealouos, hateful, envious, or anything else that is negative....the children get hurt! Ladies....it is and is not about the money! As a single dad I know what it is like to NOT receive in monetary support for your child from the other parent...I mad a choice to work my butt off, to make ends meet! They may not always meet, but u dang sure hustle! I have gone without for years so that they have! My newest pair of shorts is almost 4 years old...my newest pair of shoes came from my daughter who is working as a father's day gift against my wishes!
However, knowing that I work so much and why.....you would think that I could be met half way through this for some visitation! I can't go on the weekends because that's when i make the majority of my money at the part time job....let go of the ego, pride, and greed.....and work with each other! Learn from My situation! Let him see his kids even if he doesn't have the money to pay you...dont talk bad about the other parent to your kids...let them grow to make their own decisions....they will hate you later if you hold them back and they learn the truth in a situation...what if he/she died tomorrow and never got to tell their kids they love them? If they are deadbeats...that's one thing....but if he tries one way or the other.....let them see the kids.....that is the BEST child support ever!
I am saddened tonight because it is my youngest daughter's birthday and she has taken on her mother's anger and UN-friended me on facebook, did not invite me to her party this weekend, or had much to say to me on the phone. If somehow we could have only met in the middle....this would not be the case!
Holding back tears
Live, Learn, Love, then Laugh!