As I sit back and reflect on my life, I began to see how much I have neglected my self. I have never really been a stingy person, and as a matter of fact, i have put myself on hold a LOT more than I should have. From relationships to parenting. I have been letting things go for the sake of other's happiness.
The more I looked at it, the more I realized that I have been working super hard since I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. I had a child right afterwards and the only thing I knew at the time was to work to make sure that little girl was taken care of. Two more children came after her, and since I was not with the mothers, then child support was increased to a level that made it hard to do much of anything financially. The only thing I knew to do was to increase my income "Just to get by." I began working two jobs and have many side things going on as well, to make a living. Thus, making it increasingly more difficult to "have things" and it got to the point that going to college was looking impossible too. However, I began to nickel and dime my way through to the 62 hours I currently have. I may have a long way to go to my degree, but, I press forward. With all of this going on, I still neglected things from my clothing to my health. My rationalization was simply; As long as they are taken care of, then I am secondary.
Well, I am at a point (past the mid-life crisis....i KNOW who I am so there is NO crisis) where I have a chance to get some of the things I have been wanting. I have friends with motorcycles that I have been talking about traveling with to different places as get-a-ways. I have wanted a bike since I was in high school, but never was able to get one for one reason or another (I always made excuses as to why i shouldn't get one).
Traveling is something else I have ALWAYS done, until recent....So, this is part two of the new me. I have places I want to see and experience, and it is for no other reason than to make ME happy with my accomplishments. So now I turn my focus inward a bit. Is that wrong? I think not. Many people live their lives well into their late 20's to early 30's doing childish things and neglecting their own children's needs. I made a pact with myself and god that i was gong to take care of mine! I did it, and continue to do so. However, this time around, I am adding myself into the mix! I have never been a boring or predictable person, but I see a point where my life was predictable....sleep, work, volunteer, work some more, sleep, then repeat - was the way I lived up until this point!
Transformation is a good thing. It has a way of making one's spirit soar! So from a few material things to traveling to spiritual places and places of interest.....I am all in! Why???? Because i deserve it! Still doing it with wise decision making and not causing any injury to my family! Keeping up with the Jonses is and will never be a desire of mine! However, making myself happy by doing what I dreamed of and desired.......That is a healthy and important state of mind to be in! I could care less about being flashy and impressing others with my style of dress, etc...i went through that weak moment in my life where I was felt inferior by others......not now! I am loving me and who i am! Added that, when the situation calls for it....I can clean up as well as anyone...lol!
Hi...My name is M. Kevin Green and I am finally doing me! There will be many that have negative words to say about it because they never took the time to understand me or hear my life story....but Blessings is the only thing I can ask over their souls....I say to them...Find your own happiness within yourself and stop trying to please others as a front and cover up of the real truth!
Peace Love and Light
KG - The Lion