As I sit back and reflect on my life, I began to see how much I have neglected my self. I have never really been a stingy person, and as a matter of fact, i have put myself on hold a LOT more than I should have. From relationships to parenting. I have been letting things go for the sake of other's happiness.
The more I looked at it, the more I realized that I have been working super hard since I graduated high school almost 20 years ago. I had a child right afterwards and the only thing I knew at the time was to work to make sure that little girl was taken care of. Two more children came after her, and since I was not with the mothers, then child support was increased to a level that made it hard to do much of anything financially. The only thing I knew to do was to increase my income "Just to get by." I began working two jobs and have many side things going on as well, to make a living. Thus, making it increasingly more difficult to "have things" and it got to the point that going to college was looking impossible too. However, I began to nickel and dime my way through to the 62 hours I currently have. I may have a long way to go to my degree, but, I press forward. With all of this going on, I still neglected things from my clothing to my health. My rationalization was simply; As long as they are taken care of, then I am secondary.
Well, I am at a point (past the mid-life crisis....i KNOW who I am so there is NO crisis) where I have a chance to get some of the things I have been wanting. I have friends with motorcycles that I have been talking about traveling with to different places as get-a-ways. I have wanted a bike since I was in high school, but never was able to get one for one reason or another (I always made excuses as to why i shouldn't get one).
Traveling is something else I have ALWAYS done, until recent....So, this is part two of the new me. I have places I want to see and experience, and it is for no other reason than to make ME happy with my accomplishments. So now I turn my focus inward a bit. Is that wrong? I think not. Many people live their lives well into their late 20's to early 30's doing childish things and neglecting their own children's needs. I made a pact with myself and god that i was gong to take care of mine! I did it, and continue to do so. However, this time around, I am adding myself into the mix! I have never been a boring or predictable person, but I see a point where my life was predictable....sleep, work, volunteer, work some more, sleep, then repeat - was the way I lived up until this point!
Transformation is a good thing. It has a way of making one's spirit soar! So from a few material things to traveling to spiritual places and places of interest.....I am all in! Why???? Because i deserve it! Still doing it with wise decision making and not causing any injury to my family! Keeping up with the Jonses is and will never be a desire of mine! However, making myself happy by doing what I dreamed of and desired.......That is a healthy and important state of mind to be in! I could care less about being flashy and impressing others with my style of dress, etc...i went through that weak moment in my life where I was felt inferior by others......not now! I am loving me and who i am! Added that, when the situation calls for it....I can clean up as well as anyone...lol!
Hi...My name is M. Kevin Green and I am finally doing me! There will be many that have negative words to say about it because they never took the time to understand me or hear my life story....but Blessings is the only thing I can ask over their souls....I say to them...Find your own happiness within yourself and stop trying to please others as a front and cover up of the real truth!
Peace Love and Light
KG - The Lion
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Friday, September 30, 2011
Revelations
And Suddenly things become clearer! It pays to have good people in your life and not the kind that will allow you to do damage to your SELF! I stopped talking so much about the negative things I was dealing with and started focusing on the good things that were happening, and are going to happen! With that in mind...I can not lose! the concept is old and it is really nothing new, but it is about when you finally decide to pay attention to the light bulb that has been flashing off and on in your head!
I had to drop another line of gratitude for what's going down! Thank you Divine Father for all that You continue to do in my life! Thank you for your many blessings and for covering me and my family through everything! I am eternally grateful and will spend my life focused on giving back and sharing the gifts you have bestowed upon me. They may never be as much as you have doe for me, but hopefully they will bless someone and help turn on the light bulbs in their heads! There are some things that are still a little foggy right now, but I will say that things are getting clearer the more I search for understanding! Thank you for all you have done for me and my family and we will forever be mindful and grateful.....
Peace, Love and Light (For real)
KGrrrrrr
Peace, Love and Light (For real)
KGrrrrrr
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Helping You, Helps Them
It is my belief that there is no greater joy in this Universe than the joy of helping others! When done from your heart, you receive a better return than any tax refund or mutual fund investment will ever bring.
However, when you are messed up or you are not living up to your true self worth, then you are doing yourself and others an injustice. There is an old gospel song that says "Sweep around your own front door, before you try to sweep around mine." This song is simply stating that you can not tell me how to live my life if you are not in the process of "clean living."
In orther words...work on you and make yourself whole. Then branch out to others.
peace
peace
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Constantly Learning
Yesterday was a major learning experience for me. All that I teach/preach to others, I was faced with! From people talking about you, to people doing minute things that we let send us off the deep end!
I know that there will be times when I get angry, and last night was one of them, but it is how you deal with that anger that really afects those close to you. I was angry yesterday because of a huge stress load. When confronted by several issues, I became overwhelemed with anger, stress, and a cornicopia of emotions!
I have a beautiful young lady in my corner and that loves me very much and I recognized how she was helpful in calming my nerves, and at that point I redirected the negative energy. In redirecting that energy, I turned it inward instead of pushing it out! I became angry with myself because I allowed myself to reach a boiling point and I knew I should have known better than to let that happen.besides...I have been teaching people NOT to do this very same thing.
After a deep meditation, I was able to get 90% of that out of my mind and was ready to move forward....only to realize that I had allowed some of that negative energy to manifest in my immediate surroundings! The perception of my anger and shutting down was taken in a way that I was not even close to feeling and it breathed life into frustration from the one I adore. This, of course, just sent the emotions running back through me and I became frustrated again.
My lesson learned: No matter how in control we may think we are....there are moments where we are not so super human! More importantly if we are not careful, our anger may bounce off of us and affect those close to us.
Namaste,
KG
I know that there will be times when I get angry, and last night was one of them, but it is how you deal with that anger that really afects those close to you. I was angry yesterday because of a huge stress load. When confronted by several issues, I became overwhelemed with anger, stress, and a cornicopia of emotions!
I have a beautiful young lady in my corner and that loves me very much and I recognized how she was helpful in calming my nerves, and at that point I redirected the negative energy. In redirecting that energy, I turned it inward instead of pushing it out! I became angry with myself because I allowed myself to reach a boiling point and I knew I should have known better than to let that happen.besides...I have been teaching people NOT to do this very same thing.
After a deep meditation, I was able to get 90% of that out of my mind and was ready to move forward....only to realize that I had allowed some of that negative energy to manifest in my immediate surroundings! The perception of my anger and shutting down was taken in a way that I was not even close to feeling and it breathed life into frustration from the one I adore. This, of course, just sent the emotions running back through me and I became frustrated again.
My lesson learned: No matter how in control we may think we are....there are moments where we are not so super human! More importantly if we are not careful, our anger may bounce off of us and affect those close to us.
Namaste,
KG
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Music & My Life
Isn't it funny how music can bring certain remembrances to your life? I was riding around town the other day making sales calls, and I realized that I had my personal music in my work vehicle!
Imagine my joy riding around town listening to what I wanted to instead of what had to! As soon as I popped in the tribute CD to Frankie Beverly, I went to the track "We Are One," sung y Raheem DeVaughn. I had an instant thought of the day I shared this song with my homegirl, and how she - instantly - lit up and began to dance almost uncontrollably started to dance in the passenger seat of the car. The affect that the music had on her made me forget exactly where I first heard the song, but, it made a new memory for me.
As I proceeded down the highway, I flipped on Jill Scott's "lonely Whenever You're Around" and it reminded me of the day I received this CD and headed out of town to Dallas, TX. It was a great trip to celebrate with friends and family, but the purchase of this CD made the long journey there much more pleasant!
There are so many times and songs that I can tell you exactly when I bought it, heard it, or played it! It is amazing how that happens! Music is a gift! I often use it as a motivator, mood enhancer, or just to help me get away! When your day isn't going according to plan...keep a few songs in your repertoire for moments you need a pick me up, a calmer, or just need to forget about your present moment!
I do it all the time! Here's a few that I keep close to me:
1. Count Your Blessings by Damien Marley and Nas
2. Today by Ledisi
3. Mismaloya Beach by Ray Parker Jr. (Yes the Ghostbusters Guy)
4. Far Away by Kindred The Family Soul
5. Get Up Stand Up by Bob Marley
6. F* You by Cee Lo Green
7. Share My Life by Kem
Enjoy,
Peace,
KG
Imagine my joy riding around town listening to what I wanted to instead of what had to! As soon as I popped in the tribute CD to Frankie Beverly, I went to the track "We Are One," sung y Raheem DeVaughn. I had an instant thought of the day I shared this song with my homegirl, and how she - instantly - lit up and began to dance almost uncontrollably started to dance in the passenger seat of the car. The affect that the music had on her made me forget exactly where I first heard the song, but, it made a new memory for me.
As I proceeded down the highway, I flipped on Jill Scott's "lonely Whenever You're Around" and it reminded me of the day I received this CD and headed out of town to Dallas, TX. It was a great trip to celebrate with friends and family, but the purchase of this CD made the long journey there much more pleasant!
There are so many times and songs that I can tell you exactly when I bought it, heard it, or played it! It is amazing how that happens! Music is a gift! I often use it as a motivator, mood enhancer, or just to help me get away! When your day isn't going according to plan...keep a few songs in your repertoire for moments you need a pick me up, a calmer, or just need to forget about your present moment!
I do it all the time! Here's a few that I keep close to me:
1. Count Your Blessings by Damien Marley and Nas
2. Today by Ledisi
3. Mismaloya Beach by Ray Parker Jr. (Yes the Ghostbusters Guy)
4. Far Away by Kindred The Family Soul
5. Get Up Stand Up by Bob Marley
6. F* You by Cee Lo Green
7. Share My Life by Kem
Enjoy,
Peace,
KG
The Beautiful Struggle
As we walk through life with the intentions of living a righteous life, we are tested on many levels. The walk is according to how you look at it. So many people will tell you that the walk is difficult, but that does not have to be so. Perspective is everything!
Look at your life and your purpose. Once you know what your purpose is, then know that everything that happens to or for you is for your betterment! So no matter what comes your way there is some good in it to help shape your future. A flat tire could have been there to prevent a wreck further up the road. There are a million instances where this concept could be applied. So then it all becomes a beautiful struggle!
In the end, your reward is much greater than taking the lower road! Continue to step your game up and make big things happen through your mainfestations! Thoughts become things, so if your thoughts are pure and your intentions are to do right....be on the look out because greatness is coming!
Look at your life and your purpose. Once you know what your purpose is, then know that everything that happens to or for you is for your betterment! So no matter what comes your way there is some good in it to help shape your future. A flat tire could have been there to prevent a wreck further up the road. There are a million instances where this concept could be applied. So then it all becomes a beautiful struggle!
In the end, your reward is much greater than taking the lower road! Continue to step your game up and make big things happen through your mainfestations! Thoughts become things, so if your thoughts are pure and your intentions are to do right....be on the look out because greatness is coming!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
A Note to baby Mommas
I have learned that sometimes, people need a visual chart to help them see! I am going to be as elementary as I possibly can right now because it helps me to blow off some steam!
KG Pays child support on 2 daughters and is a single dad of one child.
KG Normally works 2 jobs and other side jobs to help cover the cost of child support.
KG Made a lot of money at one point, until he lost his good paying job.
Instead of running to the attorney general, to have child support decreased....KG took on a second job!
KG THOUGHT he was doing the noble thing!
For over 3 years now, KG's life looks like this chart
KG Works Full-Time Day Job 8:00 am to 5 or 5:30 PM Monday through Friday and some weekends.
KG then rushes home to only change clothes and go to second job.
KG's second job starts at 6:00 and he is normally late but he changes and gets there ASAP
KG then works until 12:30 AM or later
KG loves his community and tries to attend college to better himself, so he requested nights off that work with his schooling - Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.
On M,T, & Th, he attends class, Board meetings, volunteers, conference calls, bakes Cheesecakes for hisbusiness that he wants so bad to get up and running, and somehow eats with his live in daughter on Monday nights.
KG has grown very tired, but he does not want to take any money away from his other 2 children, so he continues to work tirelessly.
KG is laid off at full time job....There is a very short gap of child support, but it was only 3 weeks and monies were back on the way thanks to part-time job.
KG now has limited amount of income from part-time job.
KG's saved resources are being depleted
KG continues to apply and interview all over.
Needless to say....I get the short end of the stick when it comes to my daughters! I can not visit them like i want to because i work 7 days a week....70+ hours a week, but it is all done to better myself to better take care of them. And so that they do NOT go lacking, I refuse to reduce my child support, but every time I look up, I am in court, being threatened by a judge to be thrown in jail! The last time I went...I was a little over $1000 in the hole...that has grown due to massive amounts of interest etc... to a whopping $8000.00 bux! How I do not know because I have now been paying an extra $200 a month plus court costs! Sad thing is I KNOW men that dodge child support but I get taken through this not only by the courts, but by my exes. Then my children get this speech about how "Your dad won't take the time to come visit you"!
Just had to let this out before I imploded!
Thank you for listening if you did!
The solution to this all is understanding and working together for the good of the children, but when you are greedy, jealouos, hateful, envious, or anything else that is negative....the children get hurt! Ladies....it is and is not about the money! As a single dad I know what it is like to NOT receive in monetary support for your child from the other parent...I mad a choice to work my butt off, to make ends meet! They may not always meet, but u dang sure hustle! I have gone without for years so that they have! My newest pair of shorts is almost 4 years old...my newest pair of shoes came from my daughter who is working as a father's day gift against my wishes!
However, knowing that I work so much and why.....you would think that I could be met half way through this for some visitation! I can't go on the weekends because that's when i make the majority of my money at the part time job....let go of the ego, pride, and greed.....and work with each other! Learn from My situation! Let him see his kids even if he doesn't have the money to pay you...dont talk bad about the other parent to your kids...let them grow to make their own decisions....they will hate you later if you hold them back and they learn the truth in a situation...what if he/she died tomorrow and never got to tell their kids they love them? If they are deadbeats...that's one thing....but if he tries one way or the other.....let them see the kids.....that is the BEST child support ever!
I am saddened tonight because it is my youngest daughter's birthday and she has taken on her mother's anger and UN-friended me on facebook, did not invite me to her party this weekend, or had much to say to me on the phone. If somehow we could have only met in the middle....this would not be the case!
Holding back tears
I'm Done!
Live, Learn, Love, then Laugh!
KG
KG Pays child support on 2 daughters and is a single dad of one child.
KG Normally works 2 jobs and other side jobs to help cover the cost of child support.
KG Made a lot of money at one point, until he lost his good paying job.
Instead of running to the attorney general, to have child support decreased....KG took on a second job!
KG THOUGHT he was doing the noble thing!
For over 3 years now, KG's life looks like this chart
KG Works Full-Time Day Job 8:00 am to 5 or 5:30 PM Monday through Friday and some weekends.
KG then rushes home to only change clothes and go to second job.
KG's second job starts at 6:00 and he is normally late but he changes and gets there ASAP
KG then works until 12:30 AM or later
KG loves his community and tries to attend college to better himself, so he requested nights off that work with his schooling - Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays.
On M,T, & Th, he attends class, Board meetings, volunteers, conference calls, bakes Cheesecakes for hisbusiness that he wants so bad to get up and running, and somehow eats with his live in daughter on Monday nights.
KG has grown very tired, but he does not want to take any money away from his other 2 children, so he continues to work tirelessly.
KG is laid off at full time job....There is a very short gap of child support, but it was only 3 weeks and monies were back on the way thanks to part-time job.
KG now has limited amount of income from part-time job.
KG's saved resources are being depleted
KG continues to apply and interview all over.
Needless to say....I get the short end of the stick when it comes to my daughters! I can not visit them like i want to because i work 7 days a week....70+ hours a week, but it is all done to better myself to better take care of them. And so that they do NOT go lacking, I refuse to reduce my child support, but every time I look up, I am in court, being threatened by a judge to be thrown in jail! The last time I went...I was a little over $1000 in the hole...that has grown due to massive amounts of interest etc... to a whopping $8000.00 bux! How I do not know because I have now been paying an extra $200 a month plus court costs! Sad thing is I KNOW men that dodge child support but I get taken through this not only by the courts, but by my exes. Then my children get this speech about how "Your dad won't take the time to come visit you"!
Just had to let this out before I imploded!
Thank you for listening if you did!
The solution to this all is understanding and working together for the good of the children, but when you are greedy, jealouos, hateful, envious, or anything else that is negative....the children get hurt! Ladies....it is and is not about the money! As a single dad I know what it is like to NOT receive in monetary support for your child from the other parent...I mad a choice to work my butt off, to make ends meet! They may not always meet, but u dang sure hustle! I have gone without for years so that they have! My newest pair of shorts is almost 4 years old...my newest pair of shoes came from my daughter who is working as a father's day gift against my wishes!
However, knowing that I work so much and why.....you would think that I could be met half way through this for some visitation! I can't go on the weekends because that's when i make the majority of my money at the part time job....let go of the ego, pride, and greed.....and work with each other! Learn from My situation! Let him see his kids even if he doesn't have the money to pay you...dont talk bad about the other parent to your kids...let them grow to make their own decisions....they will hate you later if you hold them back and they learn the truth in a situation...what if he/she died tomorrow and never got to tell their kids they love them? If they are deadbeats...that's one thing....but if he tries one way or the other.....let them see the kids.....that is the BEST child support ever!
I am saddened tonight because it is my youngest daughter's birthday and she has taken on her mother's anger and UN-friended me on facebook, did not invite me to her party this weekend, or had much to say to me on the phone. If somehow we could have only met in the middle....this would not be the case!
Holding back tears
I'm Done!
Live, Learn, Love, then Laugh!
KG
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
